Do you remember being young?
Dreaming of all your fantasies about the day you’d finally be an adult?
How you would get to drive a car and go anywhere you wanted?
How you would be able to stay up as late as you wanted and then wake up to eat ice cream for breakfast?
How you would raise another woman’s child. Hearing things like “you’re not my Mom” and being called by your first name while your partner is called “Daddy"?
-cue record scratch noise-
Being a Stepmom is hard.
Fantasies are easy. But real life on the other hand… not so much. We never dreamed of this reality – no one ever truly dreams of becoming a Stepmom, it just comes as part of the package sometimes.
It is tough to internally handle the daily struggle of being a Stepmother. That would be enough on its own, but then throw on the perception Stepmoms get in public! People are so excited to talk about being parents, but as stepparents we are almost afraid to say “I’m a Stepmother” depending on the company around.
But I’m not writing this article to explain why it’s so hard to be a Stepmom. Honestly, the “woe is me” bit is overdone.
I’m writing this because I want to completely dispel the perceptions that can occur with Stepmoms.
The truth is neither Moms nor Stepmoms have it easy. To compound the issue, most Moms don’t want to hear from us. But please just hear us out. We mean you no harm. I know you think we don’t understand, but just try.
I know to a Bio-Mom, a Stepmom can be a very unwelcome addition to the family. On the other end of that, as a Stepmom you might not care what the Bio-Mom thinks of you. But let me assure you – it matters. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but it will matter.
So let’s break down some ways you can become the positive Stepmom, and avoid becoming the negative one.
All in all, being a stepmom vs being a bio-mom are the same, in that you can and will make mistakes - really quickly, and really easily. Next time you’re faced with each other, remember that you’re both just trying to fall in the positive categories.
Celeste Hennelly created The Family Turf to provide resources and guidance when the tough times come up. For people, adults and children, to support one another and share what they have learned. The aim of The Family Turf is to grow a support network for people across the world, so that more families are happy and we can all feel more at home.
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